Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize