So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
