I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Too much gin, very little bucket
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
