Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
