Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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