i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Four minutes until I can fart!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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