fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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