I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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