I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
