Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
