My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
