she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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