Need sex. Gaining weight.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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