If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize