im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
