I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize