i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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