i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my liver is dry heaving
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
