there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
