where am i from again
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
