It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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