Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
