I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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