remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How does it feel to date your dad?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
