I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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