hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
