You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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