I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
