I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
