my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
