Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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