Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
