honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
