PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize