his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You pole danced in your parka.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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