Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
