This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
