awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
