and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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