i'm signing you up for texting rehab
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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