Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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