Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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