Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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