you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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