This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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