i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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