2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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