I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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