32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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