It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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