In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
