sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
