and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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