i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
either way he was missing a nipple.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
