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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  her facebook's as public as her vagina

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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• (360): View more from Washington

  We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So thanks for that

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?

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