FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?