are you still at the devil's house?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.