WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?