Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
