So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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