Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
