dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
