hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
