wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
